It has been a month since we broke up. A lot of things just gush in during the first and second week after broke up. Things i dont even want to mention anymore Things that make her change her path. Things that change her towards me. I am simply clueless why this is happening. This is one explanation for the situation i am in right now:
http://teenadvice.about.com/od/loveanddating/a/3thingslove_4.htm
Rebounding
Everybody has heard of the rebound fling. This is a relationship that comes very quickly on the heels of another relationship ending. Rebounds are rarely based on love but are really a way of alleviating the loneliness people feel when a relationship ends. Even people who wanted their previous relationship to end can fall for the rebound phenomenon. Rebounding can feel like love for the simple reason that the people involved want to be in love. They are used to being in a relationship and feeling in love and more than anything else they want to feel those things again. They convince themselves they are in love when in reality they are really missing the relationship they left behind. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they want their old partner back it just means that they want to be in a relationship with somebody… and in a rebound phase that somebody could be anybody. Rebounding is shady because usually one of the people involved has genuine feelings for the other and this person ends up getting hurt when the rebounder comes to their senses (sort of speak). You can never be open to a new love when a part of you is pining for one that has been lost. Rebound relationships are really just emotional band-aids and new love can’t be found when old love wounds haven’t been given time to heal. How can you tell when enough time has passed between the end of one relationship and the beginning of another? How can you protect yourself from a rebound-based relationship? The answers are complex. There is no proven amount of time needed to move on from a relationship and for this reason it’s hard to say how one can protect themselves and their heart from a rebound. However there are some very clear signs that you (or your new beau as the case may be) aren’t quite over a lost love. If the old relationship keeps coming up or interfering with the progress of a new relationship than chances are good that you’re stuck in a rebound. If the rebounder keeps rehashing problems from the past relationship within the new relationship this is a clear sign that they haven’t moved on enough to fall in love again. Finally, if there are unresolved issues from the old relationship chances are very good that the new relationship is a rebound. Bottom line, if you feel as if the old relationship is a third party in your relationship yours is not a relationship that is based on love. You can’t find new love when you are harboring feelings for an old love or when you are longing to be in a relationship. Love can’t be forced at will, it must be found, and that can only happen for real when our hearts and minds are free.
http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/romanceafterdivorce/p/reboundrelation.htm
Defining a Rebound Relationship:
A rebound relationship is one that occurs shortly after the break-up of a significant love relationship. If you are in a relationship but have distanced yourself emotionally from your relationship partner, you may begin a rebound relationship before you even leave the relationship you are in. If you move quickly from a long lasting relationship into another relationship then you are probably in a “rebound relationship."
Rebound Relationships Serve a Purpose:
A rebound relationship is a distraction. It is a connection to another person that keeps us from having to experience the full extent of the emotional pain of our resent break – up. It is a misguided attempt to move on with our lives. Many people will jump back into the dating scene because they fear being alone. It’s a quick fix, one in which we can drown out our pain by reveling in the emotional intensity and passion of a new found love. It can be a a lot more fun that dealing with the misery of a recently broken heart.
Great Expectations:
Don’t go into a rebound relationship expecting your new partner to make up for the shortcomings and mistakes of the old partner. I like to call this the “knight is shining armor syndrome.” You may have just come out of a relationship that involved infidelity or abuse so, you turn around and expect your new partner to be able to make up for the pain you experienced in the old relationship. More than likely, all you will do is exchange one set of problems for another.
Too Fast, Too Soon:
If you have spent years in a bad relationship you might be itching to make up for lost time. It’s human nature to want a committed, fulfilling relationship and that desire can cause us to leap into a rebound relationship full speed ahead. We may have a sense of urgency and a desire to make sure we get it right the next time around. Those are great motivators to have but, make sure that sense of urgency is not causing you to rush in the wrong direction.
Masking Your Pain:
This is the biggest problem in a rebound relationship. Usually someone ends up being used and hurt as a result. If you are in a relationship to distract yourself from the pain of a broken heart then you are using another person. More than likely when that person has served their purpose you will move on, leaving them to pick up the pieces. Be honest with your new relationship partner about your intentions.
Being Used by The Rebounder:
If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who has recently broken off a long term relationship, be cautious. Don’t allow your new relationship partner to set the pace. If you do, you will find yourself in the middle of a whirlwind. You don’t want to be left in the dust once he / she decides to move on.
If you are single, out there looking for love and longing for a committed relationship you probably won’t find what you desire from someone on the rebound. If you do become involved with such a person be sure to let the relationship develop slowly and to take care of yourself emotionally.
Emotional Pain Doesn't Kill:
Experiencing and healing the pain of a broken relationship helps us become people who are more compassionate to other people’s pain. Emotional pain won’t kill you; it’s what you will do to avoid that pain that might kill you. Or, at least make you wish you had not moved so swiftly into a new relationship. So, do yourself and any potential new relationship partners a favor and deal with the pain of your old relationship before moving onto another one.
http://www.love-lectures.com/relationship/rebound_relationship.html
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_a_rebound_relationship
Haii. Everything is the same answer. How to make her see things clearly? How? Can anyone help me! No matter how hard i try to savage things and all, it just didnt work out. I am just a loser now. How am i going to show her everything i do is from my heart? I love her very much.
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