The feeling?

Why today she suddenly talk to me normally and all? Is it that she pity the state i am in? Or she want to be friends with me all over again? I dont know at all. Haii. I cant take any more setbacks already. How to be normal when i am forcing myself to be normal? I miss the times we were together and all. I miss her very badly. I long for her to be back in my heart. But i think is kind of impossible for her situation now. Haii. I cant take any further tortures, i am breaking down bit by bit already. Release me from all this pain, i want to die in hell. The anguish of grief and all are too much for me.