Why?

She logged in and view my tagged account and started questioning me. It has been years i touched tagged. I added all those crap in 2006 for goodness sake. No point explaining at all. She wont believe a word from me. Her thinking of me is negative now so what ever she thinks is still negative. Those things happen was like so 2006 and she thinks that i did all this now. Ok fine. I also cant convince her. Can i prove to her i am changed? Nope. Because she cant sense it. Everything has been rebounded. What can i do? Suffer is the only option left. All she can do is keep on thinking that i have gone astray. I know i left her a bad impression of me. She doubts me and all, what can i do? Nothing but to blame myself. I haven't even show my temper for 40 plus days. Does she knows? I dont think so. She wont understand the pain and agony i am going through now. The feeling in me now is like i am left stranded there where i cant even do anything. Even i could do a thing is still useless. Do i deserve everyone's pity? NO. I deserve it. Should i be mocked by others? YES. Go ahead if everyone want to. Nothing bother to me except her. How to explain to her? How to prove to her? Well. I cant at all. I have nothing now. She doubts me, i have nothing to say. All i can say now i have my heart set, i am not stupid enough to jeopardize anything at all.