The memories that we had!

Both of us known each other for like almost 10 years? Ever since childhood. Last time i use to go over to her block, as i hang around with my primary school mates. We play catching, WWE cards, playstation, computer games and all. Some times my primary school mates and i would go up to her house level and play with the rest of them. The rest of them includes her in it. Sometimes, me and primary school buddies would play soccer with the malay dudes at the open space car park opposite her house. She would peek and look at me. I also noticed her actions and all. Then some years later, we started to talk, going out and all. We fell in love and started to got together. Although we didnt hang out much as she has curfew, but we message and talk on phone for hours and hours. Some memories still linger in my heart are :

We would hang around at carpark at night, when she bring her sister down to carpark to play. We had to hide ourselves as her parents would spy on us.

And when her sister was sent to tutition at hong wen primary school. She would be delighted to fetch her back, as we can meet up and take the longest stroll over to fetch her sister. There sometimes, it rained heavily and we both squeezed under a umbrella. We held on to each other tightly to prevent each other gettin wet while heading over to fetch her sister. That was once she waited for me at my house downstairs playground and i came down after that. We headed over to hong wen, while walking we were holding hands, talking and all. We were lost in our own world and didnt notice her dad was right in front of us. When we saw him, we were scared and all. But what her dad said when he saw us was. "This is your boyfriend" She replied "yes" and her dad said "Take care of her, go enjoyed yourself". This words are exactly what he said after so many years i still remembered it. Although we were relieved, but she is still afraid and all. After fetching her sister, her dad didnt say anything but her mum just nagged her to study and all those.

Sometimes, I would played basketball at sultan gate there, which tore down years ago. I would play with my neighbourhood buddies and 7788 gang. Sometimes i would ask her to come along to play after school. She would bring her friends too. We would have lots of fun playing together. Even like playing teams with others or among ours, she would cheer on. But she would go back home a short while, as she need to go back early. I would only send her to the main road and went back to play till evening.

And there is this little book of hers, she wants me to write things about me in it. She recently still showed me that she is still keeping it. When we were together, we had a book that we would write what happening in our life in it and pass it on to each other to write it before passing on again. Every morning, she would waited for me at road junction where i would walk to take bus to sec school. We would talked to each other pass each other our little love letter, hugged before going on seperate ways. Every single morning is the same routine.

There were times, we went on group couple days, both of us and shalyn and her geeky bf. We would hanged out for meals or movies too.

All our little sweet and naive actions just makes us pass each day blissfully. I cant never forget such memories. Back then we were together for like almost two years. Till the back of it, things are getting worst. As i hanged around with my buddies more than her. And we quarrelled and broked up, and patched back. Till i couldnt take it anymore i ended it once and for all. She cried and begged for patch but i just simply ignored her. Back then i am too ignorant. I didnt have the courage to text her back. 7788 even tried to tell me to patch up with her and all. I hesitated but i didnt have the guts to do it. Till we lost contact for almost two years. Too much things happen within that two years, her family shifted to tampines. And she moved on and got into more relationships which lasted for months and got hurted more and more. She changed school to a gangster school. Loved a guy which hurt her time after time. All the girls in the school find faults with her and all. Back then, it was really really tough for her. And i cant be there for her. For me, i tried moving on but is kind of hard. After Os went to work, know a few girls but end up they like my friend. Although they aint the girl of my type, i wanted to tried out. But the feeling they gave isnt how she gave me. They fell for my friend, i decide to step back and give my blessings to them. Till she switch back to her previous school. Everything were back to normal, she remained single till she started contacting me. It was when she asked me if i want to join her at chalet. It was her class chalet, without hesitation i agreed. That night we talk about everything, even slept on the same mattress. It is really a sleepless night for me. There are many thoughts in my head. After chalet, we remained contact. Till a Christmas gathering with her sec clique, everyone brought their bf and their soon to be lover and she brought me. It was a hotel stay over. I agreed to join her, it was the best Christmas i ever had. We talk we laugh we joke we had fun. After Christmas, i ask her out for movie. We met at vivo, as i came from school and she is late due to overslept i think. But the moment we see each other, there is a spark that startled the fire in our hearts. We then realise we had feelings for each other, even this two years of life we had. We got back together on 18/1/2006.

We had lots of fun and loving times from then on. She would meet me at my place after her school. We would either watch movies, spend quality times before heading out for dinner and sending her back. Then is Chinese New Year, we would meet up on the 3rd day as we were busy on the 1st and 2nd day. We meet at marina square told pictures and all. Then we head to esplanade to chill out. Our first valentine's day came shortly after we got together. She came my house to change out of uniform and I suprised her with a big bouquet of flowers, and even force myself to say "I LOVE YOU". Is kind of shy at that time. We then head out to the glass house fish & co for our dinner. She was so so so damn shy to hold her bouquet as lots of glances from all the couples. But deep down in her heart she is very contented. After dinner we headed to fort canning. We talked and all and fed mosquitoes too. Then we cab over to her place before i went home. All the sweet happy times that we had, till i joined cheer without her consent. I did it out of folly and made myself stuck in a difficult position. Each time we quarreled would be about cheer. Cheer is the main problem between us back then, but we are still strong and all. Birthdays, gatherings with her cliques and my buddies and all. We enjoyed ourselves. We gave everything to each regarding each other as our future. We took things on to the next level. It took me almost a year to quit cheer. Till it made me realise that things going to get worst if i dont. I am really sorry that i quit after such a long time. But there was once came between us and told to leave he this and that to her. All this was told by J to her. Things went back to normal after i quit and M moved off. But why did J time after time tell her that M is sad and all when we were together? Why is he doing that? What was his motive? Haii. I dont know. Things get sour when start to lose my temper over small things. We been together so long and i got to use to her. That i overlooked my faults and took her chances for granted. Haii. I am stupid enough for not noticing her distress signal. Till the later part i changed and trying my best to prove to her, she could not sense any of it. And things got worst, the msn incident which triggers the break up. Haii. Why am i so stupid? Why cant i be more sensible enough to notice it all. Why? I seriously regretted everything. Our furture in her mind is all gone. Why her heart has not a single ounce of love left? Even when she think of break up, why she didnt of patching back? Why is she listening to M and J? Why I dont exist in her heart anymore? Why? All this questions just keep going on and on in my mind day after day. It is extremely hard to pick yourself up to go to work and even go out with your buddies. I am no longer the person i am before. I am like a living zombie. I cant laugh like how i did before, cant smile like how i did before. No matter what i do is useless. I have no more power over her. She just listens to her poly mates. And listens to both M and J after what they did, such a paradox isnt it? She mean way too much to me, not only love. She is my life, my world, my motivation, my soul, my heart, my light and my future. I caused this mess and cant savage anything back. What have i done? All the questions always appear in my mind. Haii. I only can be there when she needs me. All this lovely memories and sadness lingers in my heart. Will she remember the past lovely times we had and the present lovely times or the pain i cause? Haii, sadly i bet is the pain. All the sweet memories as friends and lovers is hard to get rid. No matter how long are all this memories, i can still remember every single of it. What she told once was that she cant remember any of the love she felt? Why is this happening? Haii. No matter is it 7 years ago, 10 years ago. I remember it like it happened yesterday. WHY??? What is happening to her? Haii. All the best for her papers tomorrow. Praying hard for her that she ace it all, wont get much mistakes and wont panick. WISHING HER ALL THE VERY VERY BEST. GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT! JIA YOU. I can only support her from behind. Missing her and loving her a lot.